RPW Showtime: Episode 7

EPISODE 7



The usual orange pyro explodes from the stage, as the cameras pan around the arena, taking in the exciteable Delaware audience!

J.R.: Good evening and welcome to RPW Showtime, here in Newark, Delaware!

Tazz: And tonight the RPW Galaxy will experience one hell of a show! We have an absolutely stacked card!

J.R.: That we do! And it will lead up to our Main Event; No. 1 Contender versus No. 1 Contender... Kevin Owens versus Dean Ambrose!

Tazz: Not only that, but we'll be joined on commentary for that match J.R., by none other than the RPW World Champion himself, Howell Saxon!

J.R.: I cannot wait...

The camera zooms in on the titantron, as we get a shot of backstage. Kelly Kelly makes her way through the backstage hallway, a security guard by her side. They’re moving quickly, and the camera shakes a little as the cameraman jogs to keep up.

Kelly Kelly
We’re looking for Howell Saxon. That man has a lot to answer for after what he did to Sydal.

The stocky, grim-faced security guard nods in agreement.

Kelly Kelly
He doesn’t know we’re approaching him now – we want to catch him off guard.

They round a corner to find Howell leaning against the wall, with a lit cigarette in his mouth. He glances up in surprise.

Kelly Kelly
And there’s our man now. Howell! Have you got five minutes to answer some questions for me? And the fans, for that matter?

As Kelly Kelly and the camera get right up close to Howell, he looks uncharacteristically flustered, quickly tossing his cigarette and mopping his sweaty brow. Kelly Kelly raises the microphone to Howell’s mouth.

Howell Saxon
… What?

Kelly Kelly
We were just wondering if you had any comment on your actions against Matt Sydal last week and your continued disrespect for RPW! The people des-

Howell Saxon
I… I didn’t… you’re not supposed to do this.

Kelly Kelly and the security guard exchange confused, but somewhat amused, glances. Howell stands up, away from the wall, flexing his shoulders to try and mask his nervousness.

Kelly Kelly
Do what, Howell?

Howell Saxon
You didn’t schedule me in for an interview, this isn’t very professional, is i-

Kelly Kelly
Well, Howell, you’ve proven to be a confident and educated man in RPW so far, I wouldn’t have thought this would be such an issue for you!

She glances back at the camera, raising her eyebrows – she knows she’s seeing a side of the RPW World Champion he doesn’t like to be made public. With an uncomfortable grimace, Howell turns away from the camera and tries to storm off down the hallway, but the security guard grabs his arm, holding him back. Anger flashes in Howell’s face.

Howell Saxon
I’m warning you, you fat shit, if you don’t get off me…

Kelly Kelly
Howell, please! Haven’t you shown enough aggression and nastiness to your opponents in the ring? Don’t take it out on our security too, they’re just doing their job!

Howell snaps his head round to glare at Kelly Kelly.

Howell Saxon
… Doing their job?

Kelly Kelly and the security guard nod. Kelly Kelly edges forward, raising the mic towards Howell – she can tell he’s finally got something to say. She gestures for the security guard to let him go, which he does. Howell takes the microphone, but less forcefully than normal – he still looks awkward as he raises it to his mouth.

Howell Saxon
I’ve got a j-

Howell coughs, hunching forward. Kelly Kelly and the security guard step back, giving him space. Finally, Howell finishes clearing his throat and straightens upright, pushing his shoulders back. His signature smirk even creeps onto his face.

Howell Saxon
As the RPW World Champion, I’ve got a job to do myself. That job in question consists of asserting my authority, showcasing real talent… showing that cesspool of idiocy you call an audience what a real fighter looks like.

The Howell Saxon we’ve come to know is back, but there’s still a hint of awkwardness hanging over the backstage atmosphere.

Howell Saxon
I was sending a message last week. A message that should be abundantly clear to Atlas and everybody else – you don’t put the world champion up against a failure like Sydal! That worthless little moron got what he deserved. Quite frankly, I hope he never wrestles again.

Kelly Kelly looks uncomfortable and upset at Howell’s flippancy towards Sydal, but not that surprised. Howell stares the camera down, his smirk gone and his face contorted in bitterness, anger and aggression.

Howell Saxon
So the next man to face me in the ring had better watch out. Because I’m not about to lose my title anytime soon, much less go any easier on my opponents.

Howell tosses the mic to the floor and storms off down the hallway. Kelly Kelly and the security guard exchange knowing glances. Kelly Kelly ducks down, picking up the microphone, and addresses the camera with a warm smile.

Kelly Kelly
Well. We certainly did seem to catch Mr Saxon off guard. I think we’ll all be interested to see what he does next…

"Ass Man" fills the arena as Captain Rump's titantron appears on the stage. Various clips appear across the stage showing some of Rump's previous matches. The crowd cheers as he makes his way out from backstage and into the arena. Captain Rump stands proudly at the entrance wearing his normal attire, which consists of a red and black mask, skin tight full body red spandex, masked by a pair of black briefs, black boots, and black gloves. A black cape wraps around and hangs down a few inches away from the floor.

Tazz: Gotta say it J.R., I like this guy! I was a bit of a sceptic when I first saw him, but his win over Knockout last week was nothing short of impressive.

J.R.: That's right! I think we've just got a man here who loves what he does, and loves the crowd that support him doing it!

Rump turns himself around and shakes his massive rump for a few seconds which causes the crowd to cheer once more. He smiles at his own action and soaks in the crowd's energy as he makes his way down to the ring. Captain Rump makes his way toward the center of the ring. He removes his cape and drapes it over the nearby corner turnbuckle. He walks into the center once more with a microphone in hand.

Rump
Good evening everyone! How are you all doing tonight!?

Immediately the crowd cheers with excitement.

Rump
First off I want to start out by saying thank you to all the fans who have been supporting me since last week. You've been making my experience so far in RPW a great one. I also hope you've been truly entertained by watching me in the ring!?

Rump lowers the microphone and smirks while onlooking the crowd.

Rump
Tonight i've been booked in another match. I'm going toe to toe with Jeff Hardy. I can assure i'll do my best to keep you fans entertained!

Rump pauses for a moment as the crowd begins to cheer on his name.

Rump
I wish I could stay out here and chat some more but i've got some things to do before tonight's match. Thank you.

Captain Rump begins to head out of the ring and towards the backstage area as the crowd continuously cheers on his name.

Before Rump can even have moved off the apron however, Jeff's music hits! Rump sighs, before slowly climbing back through the ropes and into the ring, as Hardy throws aside the curtain and moves onto the stage. The crowd cheer him, but Jeff seems entirely uninterested in them, as he slowly moves across the stage, and down to the ring.

Tazz: Well, this is a different Jeff Hardy than the one I'm used to...

J.R.: It sure is Tazz! I'm not sure whether I like it...

His lack of acknowledgement to the audience starts to garner some small boos from the crowd, and once he finally climbs into the ring, he moves over to Captain Rump with gusto. He squares up to him, gives him a look up and down, and then scowls, before he moves over to the turnbuckle and climbs it. He similarly scowls at the crowd in attendance, before jumping back down, the boos much louder now due to his disrespect.

J.R.: Oh have some respect!

The bell rings.

Captain Rump moves over to Hardy in order to engage him in a test of strength, but Hardy seemingly has no time for it, throwing a gut kick into Rump's stomach! He follows up with clubbing axe handles to Rump's back, before running off the ropes, and delivering a dropkick to the side of Rump's temple! Rump collapses into a sitting position against the turnbuckle, where Jeff grabs the turnbuckle ropes, and after jumping into the air, pulls himself down with them right into another dropkick against Rump's face!

J.R.: Nothing like the unorthodox style of Jeff Hardy!

Rump rolls into the middle of the ring, where Jeff stomps on his face a couple of times, before grabbing his legs, and opening them wide, looking to go for that crotch leg drop... but Rump pushes him away with his legs! Jeff bounds back from the ropes, but Rump takes him down with a lariat! Jeff gets up, another lariat! Jeff gets up a third time, but walks right into Rump's arms, and is planted down with a Belly to Belly!

Rump covers him...

1...

Kickout!

Rump is quick to his feet for such a big man, and measures Jeff, before dropping a leg drop across his throat! He gets to his feet quickly yet again, and slams Jeff across the adam's apple with another one! He gets up yet again, and this time gets the crowd going as he raises his arms up in the air, before slapping his thigh! He leaps, this time tremendously high, ready to bring down one gigantic, final leg drop on Hardy...

Tazz: If he hits this, it could be over for Hardy!

But Jeff moves! Rump crashes down ass first! Jeff wastes no time, he bounds off the ropes, leaps over Rump's head, and plants him down on his back with a Throwback Neackbreaker! With Rump on the ground, Jeff gets behind his head, grabs both his legs, stretches them back over Rump's head, and leg drops them both, pinning him!

1...

2...

Kickout!

Tazz: Oh a nearfall!

Rump pushes himself back to his feet, as Jeff throws a series of punches into Rump's gut, before keeling him over and attempting to go for a Russian Leg Sweep.. but Rump reverses it into a Hip Toss! Jeff's back up, and Rump gets a hold of him, locking him up in a tight Bearhug! Jeff grits his teeth in pain, trying to reach out towards the ropes, but Rump carries him into the middle of the ring! Jeff fights back, wriggling around enough that he's able to free his hands, and rakes Rump across the eyes!

J.R.: Some nasty tactics there from Hardy!

Tazz: They might be nasty, but they're keeping him in this!

He follows up with a kick to Rump's gut, but Rump catches it! Jeff spins around though, and slams the Luchador across the chest with a Mule Kick! Rump falls back into the ropes, and upon bounding back, is planted to the mat with a Sleeper Slam! Jeff moves to his feet, and beckons for Rump to get up... Rump slowly does so, and Jeff kicks him in the stomach, before grabbing him by the head...

TWIST OF FATE!

NO! Rump pushes Jeff away from him! Jeff twists around, but Rump slams a hand right into his throat! He lifts Jeff! CHOKESLAM! Hardy plummets brutally to the mat, right in position of the turnbuckle, as Rump starts to climb. The Captain gets onto the second rope, slaps his arse, and bounds off the rope rope!

Tazz: What's Rump going for here?

THE ASS-AULT! IT HITS! Rump remains sat on Jeff, as the referee counts the pin...

1...

2...

...3!

Captain Rump defeats Jeff Hardy by pinfall in 10:01

J.R.: And he's done it! Captain Rump continues to impress with his second victory in a row!

Jeff slowly rolls out of the ring, as Captain Rump celebrates his second victory in a row. He jumps onto the turnbuckle and raises his hands, before he begins to slap his arse again to the amusement of the RPW crowd. He jumps back off the turnbuckle, and continues to celebrate with a big smile on his face, before the scene fades out.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

The scene fades in to a fancy ass locker room, where Kevin Nash and Scott Hall are engulfed in a cloud of smoke that emanates from their respective cigars. They sit on a black leather couch, watching reruns of Miami Vice, because they're still stuck in the 80s.

Scott Hall
Hey yo, Kev. I'll bet you real money most of the spot monkeys in this company haven't ever even heard of this show.

Kevin chuckles.

Kevin Nash
I'm not putting money on that.

They resume watching telly.

Kevin Nash
Hey, have you checked if we've got a match tonight?

Scott replies, while chewing on his toothpick.

Scott Hall
I dunno, man. Do we?

Kevin Nash
Actually I think I had a text earlier about something like that...

Scott Hall
What'd it say?

Kevin Nash
Didn't look. My phone's too small. You know how I feel about small things and people.

Scott Hall
Gotcha.

They sit back and the episode ends. During the credits roll, Kevin's phone buzzes on the coffee table in front of them. He picks up his Nokia 3310 - because he hates change and refuses to have anything to do with those fancy phones kids have these days - and sees that he's got a new text.





Kevin Nash
Huh...

Hall seems intrigued by this new technology, as he watches in wonder.

Kevin Nash
Did you get one of these?

Scott Hall
Is that the dude who came out swinging nunchucks and looking at the ceiling last week?

Kevin Nash
What?--You mean... That wasn't Sting?

Scott Hall
No, dude.

Kevin Nash
Well could've fooled me. I'm not about to wear my glasses to the ring. I'd look like a fucking nerd. How am I supposed to get pussy wearing that?

Scott Hall
Fuck if I know.

Kevin Nash
Who is this guy anyway?

Scott Hall
Fuck if I know.

Kevin Nash
Oh, look. Kojak's on next. "Who loves ya baby?", I love that shit.

The camera slowly moves away and the scene slowly fades to black, like the end of a sitcom episode.

Scott Hall
We takin' over yet?

We fade from backstage to ringside.





Boos fill the arena, as the Giant Orange, nicknamed as such for his size (and unfortunately bright orange singlet), Brodus Clay, moves out of the curtain. As he usually does, he wastes none of his time showboating, refusing to even look at a single member of the crowd, as he makes a B-line right to the ring.

Tazz: Have you ever talked to Brodus Clay J.R.?

J.R.: Can't say I have, nor that I'd liked to...

Once the humongous Clay has climbed into the ring, and circles it a few times with a miserable expression on his face, his music finally dies down in anticipation of his opponent.



The crowd pops, as Jeremy Stevens, with seemingly renewed energy from his apologetic display the week prior, bounds out of the curtain. He smiles at the crowd, a sincere smile, almost overcome with emotion at how supportive they still are of him despite the events at All Out Brawl. He bends down, slaps the stage, and does his signature windmill fist bump to even louder applause.

Tazz: Jeremy Stevens coming off of a win last week over Quincy Reagan! And that is no easy feat to accomplish!

J.R.: It certainly isn't! Only two men have done it so far, him, and our No. 1 Contender Kevin Owens.

Tazz: But will his luck carry through tonight? Can he pick up a win over Brodus Clay?

Stevens moves down the ramp, high fiving fans on either side of him, before he slides into the ring. Brodus Clay moves straight for him, wanting to start things early! Stevens however is able to roll out of the way, and gets behind Clay.

The bell rings.

Stevens starts to circle around Brodus Clay, using his immense speed to his advantage. After being able to speed around Clay's back, he throws a kick into the big man's legs, causing him to attempt to swipe at Stevens, but the High Flyer is too quick, moving away before he can catch him! This continues, with Stevens slowly wearing down at Clay's legs, before Clay finally catches him!

Tazz: Uh oh! You don't want to end up in this predicament...

Clay lifts Stevens above his head for a Samoan Drop! But Stevens slips off, and slams Clay in the back of the legs with a dropkick, knocking the Giant Orange painfully to his knees! Stevens gets around to Clay's head, before planting him to the mat with a Snap DDT, and then climbing on top of him for the cover...

1...

Clay tosses Stevens through thew air as he kicks out of the pin! Clay moves to his feet, but Stevens is right back to work on him, throwing kick after kick across Brodus' chest! Clay pushes him away, and as Stevens runs at him again, flattens him with a shoulder block! Clay lifts Stevens to his feet, before throwing him halfway across the ring with a Hip Toss!

J.R.: By Gawd! The strength of Clay!

Tazz: He nearly threw Stevens halfway across the state!

Clay follows where he threw Stevens, attempting to lift him back up, but Jeremy throws a forearm across his face, before springboarding off the ropes, wrapping his legs around Clay's head, and tossing him to the mat with a headscissor! Clay tries to get to his feet quickly, but Stevens grabs him around the head, runs up the ropes, and plants him down with a Tornado DDT!

Stevens smile as he points at the turnbuckle, the fans cheering him as he runs over and starts to climb... but Clay is up! He charges at Stevens and throws a series of punches at him, knocking him off balance on the ropes! Clay catches Stevens, and lifts him onto his back, before running into the center of the ring, and planting him down with a Samoan Drop!

Tazz: Oof! That's gonna hurt!

With Stevens on the mat, Clay gets to his feet, charges at the ropes, and upon bouncing back, gets ready to deliver to Stevens the SPLAT! He leaps through the air...

J.R.: It's coming... The SPLAT!

But Stevens moves! Clay crashes down face first!

Clay tries to get to his knees, but Jeremy runs off the ropes, and clatters him across the mouth with a Shining Wizard! Clay's head snaps backwards, as he falls onto the mat on his back. Stevens meanwhile wastes no time, already climbing up to the top rope again, the crowd's excitement renewed, as he measures Clay... he turns around...

PHEONIX SPLASH!

J.R.: PHEONIX SPLASH! Stevens hits it!

Tazz: It's over! It's gotta be!

Stevens climbs back onto Clay as the crowd applause, covering him...

1...

2...

...3!

Jeremy Stevens defeats Brodus Clay in 5:51

Tazz: And another impressive victory for Stevens!

The crowd cheer as Stevens jumps to his feet, hands raised in the air. He moves over to the turnbuckle, and leaps up onto it, slapping the top of the ring post, and then doing his Windmill Fist Bump! The more the crowd cheer him, the more genuine his smile starts to become by the second, but a little bit of inner pain is still present. The scene fades out.

We pan over the beautiful council flats of Corby, setting the scene for the introduction of the brand new RPW signee - Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker. A troubled looking old tramp sits on the curb. He looks, inquisitively, at a rock that has crumbled from the path. In a certain metaphorical sense, he can see his own life story reflected in this rock. Both himself and the rock are outsiders now, once a part of something bigger, but due to some form of corrosion, whether it be harsh weather and the constant strain of people walking upon it in the case of the rock, or addiction in the case of the tramp, there is a fall from grace story in both of their cases. The tramp vomits blood and then shits himself and passes out.

The scene transitions to show a small building sandwiched between a local Co-Op and a hairdressers called 'Barbara's Beauts'. It is, of course, the famous Dragon Temple. The very same dojo that trained the one we now know as Dangerman. The door swings open with all the force of a door being swung open by a man putting a lot of force into swinging open a door. Standing there when the dust settles is a short, weedy looking middle aged man with a mullet and porn-stache. He is wearing a bright blue tracksuit and stands with his legs apart and his hands on his hips.

Sensei
Welcome to my dojo, like

We follow the Sensei into the dojo and he takes a seat.

Sensei
I knew you lot were coming, so I got our Margaret to make you some cakes.

The Sensei turns to away and bellows.

Sensei
MARGARET!? BRING THE CAKES!

There is a short silence.

Margaret
What?!

Sensei goes red in the face and huffs.

Sensei
SAID BRING THE FUCKING CAKES

Sensei turns back around.

Sensei
Anyway, I couldn't be more proud of me boy Dangerman. I've been teaching him the ways of Taekwondo since he was just a little boy, int I? I love that boy, he's my best pupil.

Sensei gets up and shouts across the hall. We can now see that the temple is full of small children all practicing their martial arts.

Sensei
Oi you lot, we're all dead proud of our Dangerman, int we?

The kids half heartedly reply with a collective 'yeah, like'. One of the kids yells that he's done a wee.

Sensei
Ent much else to say, like. I know that our Dangerman is going to absolutely beat the living fook out of anyone who gets in his way down in America. I don't know what you bloody yanks think's gonna 'appen but I'm telling yis, you better not get in his fookin way, is that understood? Bloody yanks.

Sensei gets up and begins kicking the air.

Sensei
Bloody... FOOKIN yanks. I fookin-

We cut off here. The scene now goes to Dangerman Taekwndo Superkicker sitting in a room with Kelly Kelly.

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker
'Ello, love

Kelly Kelly
Hello Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker. Welcome to RPW!

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker
Thanks, love

Kelly Kelly
This week, you have your first ever wrestling match, and it's going to be against the veteran Kevin Nash. Do you have any nerves going into this match at all?

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker
Course not, love. I don't take crap from anyone. You see the thing about me is, right, I'm a weapon. I don't actually need a weapon, right, cause I am one, love.

Kelly Kelly
So you're not worried about this match at all?

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker
Not at all, love.

Kelly Kelly
Do you feel that your martial arts skills will translate well to the wrestling ring?

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker
Yeah.

Kelly Kelly
Care to add anything else?

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker
You're a pretty lass. I would like to give you a kiss. A big kiss. Right on your lips.

Kelly Kelly
I don't think thats appropriate. You appeared on RPW last week and pointed at the nWo. Could this mean that they're the ones you're going to be targeting? If so, why?

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker
Nah, I'm not targeting them, love.

Kelly Kelly
I see... It's just that on the last episode of RPW, you made it pretty clear that you have some kind of issue with them. But now you're saying that you don't want any piece of them at all?

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker
Yeah.

There is a short silence.

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker
To be honest, I don't care about them in any way. They can do what they want, like. As long as they don't give me crap, cause if they give me crap, love, I'll have to prank them. And after I've pranked them, I'll have to superkick them. That's all there is to it really, love, I just don't really care about them if I'm being perfectly honest with you, to be fair.

Dangerman gets up and walks away. The camera follows him as he walks to catering.

Kelly Kelly
Excuse me, Dangerman, I just have a few questions I'd like to ask you!

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker
Nah, love, can't be arsed, to be honest.

He picks up a bun and eats it whole.

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker
Pretty nice, like.

Kelly Kelly
Do you have anything you'd like to say to the RPW galaxy before your official debut this week?

Dangerman blows rasperries.

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker
Does that answer your question? La dee dah dee dah. You know what I mean? To be fair.

Dangerman wanders away.

COMMERICAL BREAK





The crowd boo, as with smirks on their faces, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall emerge from out of the curtain. The pair turn to one another, before raising an eyebrow as they look at the curtain behind them. Hall moves towards it, reaches a hand behind, and yanks out Justin Roberts. Justin looks quite tattered, and incredibly intimidated of the pair, as they push him down the ramp ahead of them.

J.R.: For the first time since these men debuted at All Out Brawl, we're seeing one of them in singles action!

Tazz: If their fast wins over the last few weeks have showed us anything J.R., it's that Kevin Nash still has it!

Nash shoves Roberts into the ring, where upon standing up, he quakily announces the pair. Once he's done, Nash unnecessarily boots Roberts in the face, knocking him out of the ring. He picks up the microphone, and tosses it out after him.



The crowd give a warm reaction, as Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker, looking both incredibly intense and nonchalant at the same time, steps out onto the stage. He whips his Nunchucks out of his trousers, and flips them around his head for well over a minute, showing impressive skill, before eventually slotting them back into his trousers.

J.R.: I'm looking forward to seeing Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker in action!

Tazz: Me too J.R.! I wanna see if he can live up to his name!

He charges down the ramp, staring unblinkingly at Nash, before he slides under the bottom rope and into the ring. He watches Hall like a hawk, willing him to climb through the ropes, and exit the ring. With Hall now out of the ring, the referee calls for the match to start.

The bell rings.

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker moves into the centre of the ring, and respectfully bows towards his opponent. Nash turns towards Hall, and the pair laugh to one another, before Nash throws a boot up into Dangerman's face. Nash follows up by whipping the Martial Arts Master into the ropes, and sending him crashing down with a Big Boot on the rebound!

Nash and Hall continue to loudly laugh, as Nash gets down and throws punch after punch after punch into the face of Dangerman, knocking him dizzy, before lifting him up to his feet, and placing his head between his legs for the Jacknife... he lifts him...

J.R.: This could be over already!

But Dangerman unloads into Nash's face with forefist after forefist, until the big man lets go. Superkicker slides down off of his shoulders, before twirling through the air, and slamming an incredibly roundhouse kick through the jaw of Nash! Kevin crashes to the mat, as Taekwondo stands above him, lifting his foot up into the air in an Axe-Kick style movement, before dropping it down on Nash's face with a leg drop!

Tazz: Holy shit! He might live up to that title after all J.R.!

Dangerman leans over and covers him...

1...

2...

KICKOUT!

J.R.: And Nash stays in this!

Dangerman moves back to his feet, circling around the ring, doing weird movements and facial expressions to try and get himself back in the zone. Hall watches him confused, the smile now knocked off of his face as Nash struggles to get to his feet. Kevin is up, and Dangerman rocks his head back with a nasty elbow strike, sending Nash back into the turnbuckle. With a run up, Superkicker leaps through the air, and splashes into the corner on top of Nash, before taking another run up, and doing the same again!

He goes for a third.. but Nash moves! Dangerman crashes face first into the top turnbuckle, and stumbles backwards right into the arms of Nash... he lifts him up onto his shoulders, and plants him down on his back with an Oklahoma Slam! Dangerman clutches his back on the floor, but isn't prepared for the elbow drop that Nash lands down across his chest!

J.R.: And now Nash takes back control!

With the Superkicker winded, Nash covers him...

1...

2...

Kickout!

Nash beats him over the head a couple more times, before lifting Dangerman to his feet... but the Martial Arts Master pushes away from his opponent! Before Nash can retaliate, Dangerman spins around violently, before throwing a Backfist right across Nash's face! Kevin plunges into the ropes, looking dazed, as he tries to shake away the dizzyness that came from the nasty backhand! Dangerman beckons Nash forward with his hand, whilst doing a dramatic fighting pose.

Nash angrily charges at Taekwondo, going for a clothesline... but Dangerman ducks and grabs his arm! He turns it into the KIMURA LOCK! Dangerman drags Nash to the mat as he clutches his arm in the painful hold! Nash roars in agony, trying to reach the ropes, but they're slap bang in the centre of the ring... there's nowhere for Nash to go!

J.R.: Bah Gawd! Nash could tap here!

Tazz: That Kimura looks agonising!

Red faced and in pure, agonising pain, Nash looks ready to tap out...



BUT SCOTT HALL BREAKS IT UP!

He drops a double axe handle onto the head of Dangerman, causing him to loosen the grip, and allow for Nash to escape the Kimura! The referee shouts at Hall, before ordering for the bell to be rung!

Dangerman Taekwondo Superkicker defeats Kevin Nash by disqualification in 8:58

J.R.: Oh what a disapointing ending to the match!

Tazz: He's just proving to be a good friend J.R.! Nash could've had his arm broken!

Hall lifts Dangerman to his feet, and holds his hands behind his back, before shouting to get Nash's attention. Nash turns, and sees the predicament Dangerman is in, before smiling and preparing a big boot... he charges, lifting his size 13 up in the air...

But Dangerman stands on Hall's toe, and ducks out of the hold. The Big Boot smashes Hall across the mouth, knocking him sailing back into the ring post! Nash can only let out a small 'Oops', before turning around...

TAEKWONDO SUPERKICK!

Nash plummets to the mat before rolling under the bottom rope and out of the ring, as Hall stumbles back away from the turnbuckle. Dangerman moves over to him, grabs his arm, and pulls him right into a vicious KNEE STRIKE TO THE FACE!

Tazz: And he wants us to call that one the 'RIGHT ON YOUR LIPS'!

J.R.: ...yeah I'm not calling it that.

Hall falls backwards, crashing through the middle rope, and on top of Nash to the outside. The dazed Nash picks up his friend, before the two stumble up the ramp, glaring at Dangerman who remains in the ring. Dangerman Taekwondo Superkick points at them yet again, his eyes intense and unblinking, as the scene fades out.

The camera opens up, and it's Thorn, sat on a stool, a Fab lolly in his hand. He holds it towards the camera, more dramatically than one would expect someone to hold a Fab lolly towards a camera.

Thorn
You know, I see people eating these things very particularly. I see them scrape off the sprinkles with their teeth, then they nibble away at the chocolate, then the sugary undercoating, and then finally, they slowly lick at the ice itself until it's gone. Evaporated in their mouth.

Thorn looks at the Fab lolly, before snarling.

Thorn
I find this method to be disgusting.

Thorn chomps the Fab lolly, taking a giant bite out of it. He grins at the camera, ensuring that it catches the remains of the Fab sloshing and swirling inside his mouth.

Thorn
I'm sorry! Does that scare you!? Are you intimidated by how a real badass devours a Fab!? You should be! The way I rip this Fab to small, miniscule pieces with my teeth, is the same thing that I will do to my opponent tonight! The Road Dogg huh? If you're a dog alright, then I'm a Chinese man! And we all know what that means...

Thorn grins manically at the camera, and nods knowingly. After a silence, he continues.

Thorn
It means I'm gonna eat ya!

Thorn laughs an evil laugh. The camera slowly pans to Road Dogg who's sat on a wooden stool nearby, having a go at a Fab lolly of his own. It doesn't seem as though Thorn had noticed, but he does once he realizes the cameraman's movement. Thorn looks toward Jesse James, who has seemingly just been there watching Thorn's ramble. He takes a bite of the side of the popsicle, being one of those weird motherfuckers whose teeth don't have actual fucking nerve endings, allowing them to bite into ice cream without a second thought.

Road Dogg
Hey man.

This is said between chewing, with a slight chuckle and a smile.

Road Dogg
Y'know you're always so aggressive. Man, look.

Road Dogg scoots his stool closer to Thorn and holds his popsicle out in front of him. In a friendly-like manner, he drapes his arm over Thorn's shoulders.

Road Dogg
You know what they say.

Thorn looks at Road Dogg with the most twisted face. Jesse James takes it for confusion.

Road Dogg
Oh, you didn't know. Well, life imitates art - I truly believe that. Look at this popsicle. Look at it man.

He wiggles the colorful popsicle.

Road Dogg
This is a pretty fucking popsicle. You wanna know why it's so damn pretty?

He wiggles it again.

Road Dogg
'Cause this is a pretty popsicle. This shit. This shit right here? This shit, is art. And this thing is cold as fuck. Feel it, touch it. It's chill.

He pats Thorn on the back.

Road Dogg
So imitate art. Chill out.

Road Dogg takes away all physical contact he had with Thorn. He spaces out, looking forward, slightly slouching in his wooden stool. He takes another small bite of the pretty ass popsicle.

Road Dogg
Y'know...

As Jesse is spaced out, Thorn stares at him, perhaps surprised that for once, someone else has managed to make less sense than he. Thorn grabs James' Fab lolly, and hurtles it full speed against the wall, where it smashes into little pieces. James looks disapointed, but Thorn look furious.

Thorn
Chill!? Chill!?! You want me to chill!?

James looks confused, before nodding.

Thorn
Why on earth should I take advice from someone like you! What can you possibly offer me!? A loser like you! A true loser! If I recall, you haven't won a single match yet in RPW!

Thorn laughs in an over the top manner.

Thorn
I'm afraid to tell you, that won't change tonight! You will prove as much of a threat to me tonight as you have to everyone else so far in RPW! Y'see, I'm far above you in the RPW food chain! I'm at the very top! And the only reason I'm facing you tonight, is because you cost me my opportunity last week to go after Kurt Angle for the RPW Extreme Championship!

Thorn gets in James' face.

Thorn
So here's some advise from me... start saying your prayers! Because tonight, you fall again.

Thorn takes a vicious bite out of his own Fab Lolly, before turning dramatically and exiting the scene.





Jamie Noble jumps out of the curtain, to almost no reaction whatsoever, except some small 'MEDALLION!' chants. Then, behind him, emerges Joey Simone. The crowd boo, as the pair high five, and move down the ramp together.

J.R.: They're entering together!? They're not even trying to hide that they're going to team up in this!

Tazz: I don't see how they have a chance otherwise J.R.!

Noble and Simone roll into the ring, and upon getting onto the turnbuckles, start to flex. The crowd wash them with negativity, but the two seem not to care, taunting regardless. Eventually, Noble's music dies down, as they start to speak tactics to one another.



And the negativity takes a U-Turn, with only cheers in the air as Quincy Reagan emerges from out of the curtain. He looks serious, his usual smile gone, something clearly irritating him. He still however raises his hand in the air to get the crowd going, and happily dishes out high fives and fist bumps to the fans on either side of the ramp.

Tazz: Reagan's looking a bit different from his usual self this week J.R.!

J.R.: That looks to be the case Tazz! I'm sure it has something to do with getting rolled up by Stevens last week and sustaining that loss.

Once in the ring, Reagan climbs straight up onto the turnbuckle, raising his hand high up into the air, and showing actual muscle, unlike the ones Noble and Simone think they have. Still perched on the turnbuckle, Reagan points into the hard camera, and nods towards it, before jumping back down and facing his opponents.

The bell rings.

Both men charge at Reagan, slamming punch after punch into the man's head, causing him to back into the corner, where the two continue to unload into him with punch after punch. Noble holds him in place, whilst Simone starts to unload kicks to Quincy's gut!

J.R.: This is a triple threat! Not a handicap!

The pair of them then push him into the ropes, before irish whipping him to the other side of the ring, getting ready for him to bound back with a double clothesline...

But Reagan ducks it! The two twist around as Reagan bounds back, and smashes them both down with two giant lariats! Noble is thrown almost halfway across the ring, whilst Simone backflips through the air, before crashing down on his face! The crowd cheer as Reagan immediately gets the upper hand over his two opponents!

Tazz: Triple Threat? Handicap? I really don't think it matters to Quincy Reagan J.R.!

Reagan lifts Noble to his feet, before dragging him in the middle of the ring and locking him up for a suplex, until Simone stumbles back to his feet, and accidentally bumps into Reagan! Before Simone can do anything, Quincy gets a hold of him too, and locks him up for the same move! He lifts the pair of them up above his head for a Suplex, but holds them there! The crowd shower Quincy with applause, as he holds the two men above his head, suspended there!

Tazz: Jesus Christ! The strength!

J.R.: Reagan just never stops impressing us! That man has the strength of a Musk Ox!

Reagan still holds them, his face scrunched together from the amount of effort going into holding the combined weight of the two men above his head! After an unbelievable amount of time, he drops the two men right back down on their faces with a SITOUT FACEBUSTER!

J.R.: And neither of those two men are getting up!

The two men bounce off the mat, before landing next to one another unconcious. Reagan grabs Simone, and drags him on top of Noble, before covering the pair of them...

1...

2...

...3!

Quincy Reagan defeats Jamie Noble & Joey Simone in 1:01

Reagan quickly gets up from the successful pin and raises his hand above his head, to the crowd's approval. He celebrates around the ring briefly before rolling out of the ring and beginning to make his way back up the ramp. Midway up, however, he stops, shaking his head. He turns around and walks back toward the ring. He walks around the ring to the timekeeper's area, grabs a microphone and rolls into the ring. He takes center stage quickly.

Quincy Reagan
Y'know, I didn't wanna sound like a sore loser. But goddamnit, last week is bugging me.

He takes a breathe, his free hand on his hip.

Quincy Reagan
I'll cut right to the chase. Jeremy Stevens. Now I respect the hell out of you, which is why I know you wouldn't back down from this. Locked and Loaded. You. Me. Round two. What do you say?

The crowd roars with approval of the idea, considering the spectacle they put on the week prior. Reagan seems to want to say more, but the crowd's chanting seems to have said it all for him. He gracefully drops the microphone on the mat, looks into the camera, and with a certain smirk, shrugs his shoulders. As he exits the ring, the scene fades out.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

We come back from commercial break to find the RPW Extreme Champion, Kurt Angle, in the ring. Despite not having a match tonight, he dons his ring gear. His gold medal and championship flashing almost as if proudly around the appropriate parts of his body for the desired effect of sporting them. The crowd are cheering for the Olympic Gold Medallist, and his theme song blares through the arena speakers.

Kurt Angle
Cut the freakin' music.

The music cuts abruptly. The fans are cheering on, however, but this doesn't stop Angle from getting straight to the point.

Kurt Angle
Last week I came out to the ring and proved a point. That point is you don't mess with Kurt Angle, and you most definitely do not mess with the RPW Extreme Championship.

The fans cheer again during Angle's short pause.

Kurt Angle
Let me set the record straight for all these bozos in the locker room. This title is here to stay. It's not for nothing that I came out and put my God damn heart and soul in the ring to win it in my first night. It's for good reason that I flew out all the way in one freakin' to Connecticut from Florida where I was stationed for absolutely no reason whatsoever. The fans laugh at his subtle mention of the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony. That reason wasn't money. Heck, you all probably know I could be getting a much fatter paycheck elsewhere. Not once in my life have I done this for the money. I love this business, and I stand for it with everything I've got. I've proved that to you night in and night out for almost twenty years.

The crowd now cheer and applaud Angle's dedication.

Kurt Angle
And I guara-damn-tee you, there's so much left in the tank...

The crowd pop for this remark.

Kurt Angle
This title around my waist is physical proof of what I bring to this company. It's proof of my intelligence, proof of my intensity, and proof of my integrity. And by the time I choose to be done with this championship it will be worth far more than the RPW world championship, because I bring more prestige to it than anybody else could and you freakin' know it. It will not leave my waist until I freakin' say so!

Again, the crowd cheer, even louder now.

Kurt Angle
Let's get down to business.

Angle stops addressing the crowd and looks straight into the hard camera.

Kurt Angle
Dean Ambrose. Last week I came out and made a statement. I'm sure you of all people heard it loud and clear. I politely waited until your match was over before I took to the ring and exercised revenge for what you did to me a couple of weeks ago. Not because I hold a bitter grudge against you, not because I think I'm better than you - which I know to be a fact - but because in this business it's an eye for an eye, kiddo. While you were cutting your face open with pizza cutters and jumping off twenty foot ladders for a measly pay cut at the end of the day I was wrestling for world championships at levels you can only ever dream of. This is because I'm not only a much better athlete at fourty-eight years old than you have ever been or ever will be, but also because I've got something that you'll never have. Respect.

Angle pauses.

Kurt Angle
I have an amount of respect for this ring and this business that you can't even fathom. You can poke your fun at me, make light of my catchphrases and convince yourself that you deserve more than you're given, but the truth of the matter is at the end of the day, you'll never come out on top. Not against someone like me. Because this company, this business...

Angle unstraps the championship title belt from his waist and shows it off to the cameras.

Kurt Angle
And this championship mean a hell of a lot more to me than they could ever mean to you.

The fans applaud Angle's continual show of appreciation for RPW and the Extreme Championship.

Kurt Angle
When you step into the ring at Locked & Loaded, you'll know as soon as my name's announced... You're in my world, kiddo. And there ain't a chance in Hell you're gonna take this baby away from me, so why don't you run along and go and be "wacky" and "crazy" to the crap indies before I send you there myself?! People may chant your name and cheer you on but there's not a doubt in anyone's minds that that's where you belong.

"OOOOHHHHHH!!!"

Kurt Angle
Oh, it's true.

Angle drops the microphone and walks away as his theme song hits once again.

We fade to backstage, where Quincy Reagan walks idly down a corridor.

Jeremy Stevens
Hey Quincy!

Reagan turns, to see Jeremy Stevens jog towards him. He stops when he gets to Quincy, and smiles at him, before extending a hand.

Jeremy Stevens
I accept.

The crowd pop, as Reagan grins like a Cheshire Cat, taking a hold of Stevens outstretched hand and shaking it. Stevens grips Reagan's hand tightly as he speaks again.

Jeremy Stevens
But let's make it even more interesting. You wanna make sure that you're satisfied with the result this time... let's make it 2 out of 3 Falls!

The crowd cheer once again.

Quincy Reagan
Gotta say, I like the sound of that.

The two shake hands firmly, before Stevens pats Reagan on the shoulder as he turns away.

Jeremy Stevens
Alright. See you at Locked & Loaded!

Stevens smiles before exiting the scene, leaving an excited and pleased looking Quincy Reagan in his wake.





'Oh, you didn't know?

The crowd cheer.

'Yo' ass better call somebodaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.....!'

"The Road Dogg" Jesse James bursts out of the curtain, a microphone in his right hand as he continues to drag out the last syllable of "somebody". In the left is a bottle of water, as per his usual custom.

Road Dogg
Newark, Delaware, you know how it be.

He begins to walk down the ramp.

Road Dogg
Y'see, it's me, it's me, it's that D-OOOOOOOOOOO-double G! Back once again in that sports E-N-T!

As he finishes, he stops about three-quarters way down the ramp. He takes a deep swig of his water bottle and begins a crotch chop with his microphone hand. With every chop, he spits out a quick fountain of the water. Once he's done, he jerks the bottle in such a way to force out a large spill before tossing the bottle into the crowd and quickly rolling into the ring.



And now the boos commense. With a pig-like squeal, Thorn tears aside the curtain, huffing and puffing angrily, as he glares at the Road Dogg in the ring. He lets out a nasty and ear piercing shriek, before he starts on a path down to the ring.

J.R.: So we actually saw these two men butt heads earlier Tazz!

Tazz: That they did, and they've not been too friendly with one another in previous weeks either! There's a bit of bad blood going into this match...

Thorn reaches the ring, and rolls under the bottom rope. He continues to huff and puff his chest once in the ring, his aggressive eyes locked on James, who almost recoils from the intensity of the stare.

The bell rings.

As expected, Thorn leaps straight for James, but having done his homework on the predictable Cannibal, the Road Dogg is waiting for him, and jams a kick right into Thorn's rib cage! James beats Thorn into a corner, before mounting him, and throwing punch after punch into his head, as the crowd joyfully counts!

Tazz: Maybe if Thorn picked a different tactic for once, he wouldn't end up in this position!

Before James can hit 13 punches, Thorn is able to lift him onto his shoulders, before planting him in the centre of the ring with a Thrust Spinebuster! Thorn hooks his leg, for a meager one count. Displeased with the quick kickout, Thorn pins James again, only for him to kickout before the referee can even count a one!

Thorn tosses punch after punch James' way, before locking him up in a Surfboard Stretch! James roars in pain as Thorn presses his knee hard against his spine, until finally he's able to muster up enough strength to break out of the hold! He lands a Big Boot into Thorn's mouth, before keeling him over with another gut kick, and smashing him head first to the mat with a Spike Piledriver!

J.R.: Thorn's head driven right into the mat!

Tazz: Can't imagine that feeling too nice!

James hooks Thorn's leg...

1...

2...

Kickout!

James doesn't dawdle, and picks Thorn up to his knees, before planting a nasty knee right into the side of his temple! Thorn hotshots himself against the middle rope, as James takes a run against the rope, bounding back at the Cannibal... LEAP FROG GUILLOTINE! NO! Thorn moves out the way, and James crashes all the way out of the ring to the concrete!

Thorn follows him out, and crashes a double axe handle down on James back as he tries to get to his feet. After a few more stomps, the Cannibal tosses James back into the ring! Thorn lifts James to his feet, and wraps his arm around his neck... he lifts him up for that Shoulder Jawbreaker of his...

J.R.: This could be it...

But James slams an elbow into the side of his head! Thorn stumbles backwards, before James slams a left jab right into his nose! Another left jab! And a third! James does a little dance, his signature jive, before he sends a huge right hook into Thorn's face, knocking him to the mat! With Thorn down, James bounds off the ropes, wobbles his knees, and plants a Knee Drop right into Thorn's head!

J.R.: Shake, Rattle, and Roll, followed by a Knee Drop! Not many people that get up after that!

James pins him...

1...

2...

KICKOUT!

Tazz: Thorn isn't 'many people' though J.R.!

James sits up from the pin, but decides to waste no time before continuing the onslaught! He lifts Thorn to his feet, and locks him in a Pumphandle position, as the crowd start to get excited!

James gets ready to lift him... but THORN BITES HIM ON THE SIDE OF THE FACE!

J.R.: Oh my god! That's downright disgusting!

The Road Dogg releases the hold as he stumbles backwards, his hands clutching his bleeding face! He turns around, right into Thorn's arms... he lifts him again!

SHOULDER JAWBREAKER!

Tazz: And that's it! It's gotta be over!

James plummets to the mat, his head bouncing nastily off of Thorn's shoulder. Thorn rolls on top of him for the cover...

1...

2...


...3!

Thorn defeats Jesse James in 12:46

James wriggles around on the mat, clutching his bleeding cheek, as Thorn only laughs psychotically. The Cannibal climbs out of the ring, walking backwards up the ramp, as he shouts down at the ring towards James; "I told you! You're a loser! And you always will be!" The crowd boo him, but it doesn't even start to wipe the smile from Thorn's face, as he moves through the curtain to backstage.

COMMERCIAL BREAK





Vicious boos fill the arena, as the smug Howell Saxon slowly saunders out from behind the curtain, the RPW World Championship belt slung proudly over his shoulder. He slowly raises it high above his head, as the crowd only hiss in response. He scoffs at the booing crowd, before rolling his eyes, and strutting down the ramp towards the ring.

Tazz: And this man will be joining the pair of us on commentary tonight!

J.R.: I did not want to ever have to engage this man in actual conversation!

Tazz: Well you're gonna have to tonight J.R., because here he comes!

Howell moves slowly around the ring, looking down his nose at the fans reaching over the barricade towards him. One particularly drunk looking fan leans far over the barricade, trying to grab at Saxon whilst simultaneously balancing his beer in his hand. Saxon laughs, before grabbing the beer, and nonchalantly chucking it in the man's face. The man looks furious, but security detain him before he can clear the barrier.

Howell moves over to the commentary table, where he shifts around so he can be sat next to Tazz. The Suplex Machine turned commentator smiles in his direction, whilst Jim Ross scowls, refusing to even look at him. Saxon delicately places his title belt down on the table in front of him, before he places the headset on.

Howell Saxon: Is it on? Am I live?

Tazz: That you are Howell! It's great to have you here on commentary!

Howell Saxon: I'm happy to be here Tazz! It's quite comfortable here in fact, I'm sure I could get used to this. I bet I'd be a much better broadcasting partner than the one you have at the moment.

J.R.: Oh really? Because when you're calling the action, it's got to be live! You seemed a bit flustered earlier when our interviewer approached you out of the blue. Did you not have your lines prepared?

Howell Saxon: Listen here J.R., I was not flustered! I was taken aback by how poorly the organisational skills of RPW proved to be! What Kelly Kelly and her bonehead security guard did was absolutely unprofessional, and it shocked me. Now I am the World Champion, RPW is quite close to my heart, and so it hurts me to watch it make constant mistakes! Kelly Kelly's unprofessionalism, the atrociously rude security, and you on commentary, are three examples of those that I hope Tony will eventually weed out.

J.R.: Let's just hope Kevin Owens weeds you out of the title picture!

Howell Saxon: You keeping hoping then Jim. You'll be hoping for a long time.



The crowd boo, as Dean Ambrose bursts out of the curtain, steel chair in hand. He raises it above his head, before slamming it hard down on the stage, creating a massive smack that echoes through the stands. He grins to himself, before making his way down the ramp.

Tazz: What're your thoughts on Dean Ambrose, Howell?

Howell Saxon: I like the guy! He's tough, he's passionate, he's willing to do what it takes to get the win, and that's important in my book!

J.R.: That involves cheating does it!

Howell Saxon: You call it cheating J.R., I call it making my way to the top! If it was such a bad thing to do, then why have I been rewarded with this belt? Ei?

Ambrose props up his chair on the concrete at ringside, before climbing up the steel steps, and getting into the ring. He circles around as his music dies down, waiting for his opponent to enter. The titantron changes, but not to an entrance video, and no music starts to play. Instead, it is a video.

In a terrific outfit, Chris Jericho appears on screen at the interviewing section of backstage RPW. The crowd cheer and laugh at Jericho's appearance. He's wearing a wig and a just horrendous green blazer with a red shirt and a golden brown tie. The whole outfit is quite appalling to say the very least.

Clint Bobski
Hello everyone. I'm Clint Bobski! Here with me tonight is none other than the up-and-coming superstar, Stevie Sydal! How are you doing tonight Stevie?

The camera zooms out to show a wider angle, and Stevie Richards, donning Matt Sydal rip-off ring gear and a shit-eating grin is standing right next to "Clint". Stevie tries to snatch the mic from the interviewer's hand but is unsuccessful, so he just bends over slightly and speaks into it, with gusto in his usual raspy voice.

Stevie Sydal
Well, Clint! It ain't for nothing that Stevie-man's got a match tonight with none other than the RPW Champion! And tonight, Clint. Tonight I'm going to pick up a win from the RPW Champion. Tonight, tonight I'm gonna beat the RPW Champion and prove to the world, tonight, why I put the twenty-seven in twenty-seven throat surgeries! That's right!

Stevie looks at the camera.

Stevie Sydal
Boys and girls, you won't wanna blink, tonight! Because I'm gonna steal the show, tonight, you see!

Stevie finally successfully manages to grapple the mic from Jericho's hands, leaving the latter battling with frustration as he manages to keep a professional smile. Richards starts slowly spinning around while singing:

Stevie Sydal
I see the world is spinning.
I see such to be demise.
I see the fear in your eyes.
I see the bead of sweat there.
I see your empty lies too late to say a pr--NO!

Out of the blue, Kevin Owens jumps Stevie, wearing a grey suit and with his hair ridiculously gelled back, with an undersized replica RPW Championship title belt on his shoulder. "Clint" exclaims his "shock" while still keeping an uncomfortable smile and looking at the camera.

Clint Bobski
Oh. Nooooo.

Kowell Sowens
Move, Clit!

Owens goes out of his way to push Jericho to the side even though he wasn't in the way at all, and then picks up Stevie.

Stevie Sydal
PLEASE STOP!

Owens picks Stevie up, and shoves him into the wall. It is now obvious to everyone who isn't an absolute mong that Jericho, Owens, and Richards are blatantly ripping off the events of the last show, where Howell Saxon beat up Matt Sydal. Kevin picks Stevie back up and carries him for an uncomfortably long time to the catering table nearby. Jericho finally breaks the "professional interviewer" stance.

Clint Bobski
NOT THE CAKE!

But the cake. Owens throws Stevie right on top of the table, face-first into the chocolate cake. He grabs a jug of Matt wriggles on the floor, clutching his head in pain, but Saxon isn't done. He grabs Sydal brutally by the face, lifting him up onto his knees, before he picks up a big glass jug of what seems to be water off of the table, and pours the contents over Stevie's head. After a while, Richard seems genuinely disturbed.

Stevie Richards
WHAT THE FUCK GUYS YOU SAID THIS WAS WATER! THIS IS BLEACH! AHH!

Owens and Jericho try not to crack up. The number one contender lifts up his trouser leg, showing off a poorly drawn "tattoo" of Lex Luger.

Stevie Richards
NO! NOT THE TOTAL PACKAGE!!!

SHIN TO THE FACE! Stevie rolls away, wailing in misery. Owens grabs the microphone and gets so close to the camera that you cannot see anything past his cheeks, bar a small part of "Clint Bobski" to his left.

Kowell Sowens
Tony Atlas!... HOW DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAREE YOU?!

Owens breathes ridiculously loud and heavily, before continuing in an awfully fake British accent.

Kowell Sowens
HOW DARE YOU PUT ME, THE RPW CHAMPION, IN A MATCH AGAINST THIS... FOR LACK OF A BETTER TERM, SLIGHTLY IRRELEVANT MIDCARD WRESTLER?... Take this as a warning, Tony. I ain't gonna take any more shit from you. I'm the RPW Champion for a reason! And that reason is me being a real deal wheel veal teal bambeal hardworking SPORTSMAN! ASK ME SOME QUESTIONS CLIT BOBSKI!

"Sowens" walks back and adjusts the title belt on his shoulder, as "Clint" acts like nothing just happened.

Clint Bobski
UH... How was your lunch, champ!?

Owens looks angry as ever. Or as angry as he can realistically pretend to be.

Kowell Sowens
My LUNCH?! Let me tell you something about my lunch. My lunch was what I call a real hardworking meal. I started off with the rice, and I showed that little moron rice just what I was capable of! Quite honestly I hope that rice NEVER WRESTLES AGAIN!

Clint Bobski
You sure sound adamant about that, champ!

Kowell Sowens
Then I grabbed a spoon, yeah? And you know what I did with that spoon?

"Clint" thinks for a little while.

Clint Bobski
You scooped up those peas and ate them?

Kowell Sowens
I scooped up a whole bunch of real hardworking peas and I ate them. I just ate them all up. And you know what they say about peas, right, Clit?

Clint Bobski
What do they say about peas, Kowell Sowens the RPW Champion of the world?

Chris keeps up his shit-eating grin throughout the whole thing.

Kowell Sowens
THEY MAKE YOU TOUGH. THEY MAKE YOU HARD. And that just spells nightmares for all of my opponents, 'cause I'll be God diddly darned if I'm about to lose this title. It's not gonna happen. You know why? Because I'm gonna keep being real hardworking, Clit. I'mma be real hardworking and eat my peas and say my prayers. This is a message not just to Tony Atlas but to the entire locker room, especially that ridiculously talented Kevin Owens and his ravishing best friend, Chris Jericho: You don't, I repeat, you DON'T wanna be in the same ring as me when I'm hard.

Chris now seems confused. He lowers the mic and whispers something in Kevin's ear.

Kevin Owens
Yeah, I know. I just thought--I thought it'd be funny.

They both just stare at the camera and then walk off. Owens then comes back to face the camera, again ridiculously up close.

Kevin Owens
The Total Package is coming for you, Kevin Owens. WATCHAGONNAD--

Jericho pulls him away and the feed cuts.

The titantron goes blank. The audience are loud with laughter. Ambrose looks up at the black screen, a confused smile on his face, unable to help but snicker at what he just saw. At the commentary table, J.R. is chuckling to himself, as Howell is red faced and furious looking. He snarls at J.R., before raising an eyebrow as he looks at Tazz, who tries with all of his effort to stifle laughter.

Howell Saxon: You can't seriously tell me you found that the slightest bit amusing?

J.R.: Anything that inconviniences you...

Howell Saxon: Tazz! Not you!

Tazz: I mean... I wouldn't say it wasn't funny...

Howell Saxon: Oh this is just ridiculous! Theatrics again! That's all Owens and his buddy are bloody good for! And you morons eat it up every time! That's another thing wrong with place! You're all idiots! And I'll tell you wha-



The crowd cheer, as the music cuts Howell off. He crosses his arms, throwing a huff in a similar manner to a little child. Jericho and Owens both emerge onto the stage, the crowd massively on their side. The pair smile at one another, before they make their way down the ramp, picking and choosing who they high five, ensuring they only make contact with those wearing Jericho or Owens shirts.

J.R.: And here he is! Our future RPW World Champion!

Howell Saxon: Pah! You wish!

Jericho gives Owens a motivational pat on the back once they get to ringside, prompting Owens to roll into the ring, and come face to face with Ambrose. The pair glare at one another, Owens looking intense, and Ambrose grinning. The referee gets in between the two, and pushes them into their respective corners.

The bell rings.

Ambrose and Owens charge at one another, immediately locking up, before Ambrose is able to push Kevin's head under his arms, and gets him in a headlock! Owens twirls out of it, and crashes a clothesline across Ambrose's neck! The Lunatic is back up, and walks right into a forearm, snapping him back into the ropes, before he bounds back right into a Back Body Drop! But Dean lands it, runs at the ropes, and smashes Owens down with a Neckbreaker on the rebound.

Howell Saxon: Look at this! Already the Lunatic is in charge of this match! I look forward to standing side by side with Ambrose when he takes the Extreme title off of Kurt Angle after Locked & Loaded! We'll make great faces for this company!

Owens pulls himself to his feet at the turnbuckle, til a clothesline stuns him. Dean charges at the opposing turnbuckle, then rushes back with another clothesline, before getting ready to plant Owens down with a bulldog... No! Owens pushes Dean right into the other turnbuckle, and as Ambrose stumbles back, Owens lifts him for a Suplex, before Stun Gunning him on the ropes!

Ambrose clutches onto the apron, as Owens charges at him, but Ambrose pulls down the ropes and Owens goes right over the top rope! Ambrose turns around, and drops a elbow drop to Owens' head from the apron, collapsing Owens to the concrete. Ambrose lifts the Prizefighter back to his feet, ready to toss him into the ring post... but Owens spins it around, and slams Ambrose into it instead!

J.R.: Ambrose head first into that steel post!

Tazz: Doesn't matter how tough you are, colliding face first into one of those is gonna leaved you rocked for the next week!

Owens rolls Ambrose back into the ring, who starts to get to his feet, before Owens drops him with a Reverse Elbow! Ambrose lays on the mat, as Owens leaps into the air, and slams onto Ambrose with a Standing Bullfrog Splash! Jericho excitedly fist bounds the air!

Howell Saxon: Look at him! Cheering him on! He's like some pansy Cheerleader!

J.R.: Do you have many friends who could support you like that Howell?

Howell Saxon: Shut up J.R.! I keep my work and private life seperate.

Owens hooks Ambrose's leg...

1..

Kickout!

Owens grabs Ambrose by the head and throws punch after punch into his cranium, before lifting him to his feet, and readying him for a Belly to Belly... but Ambrose throws headbutt after headbutt into Owens' face, causing him to stumble back dizzily. Ambrose bounds off the ropes, going for a Lariat... but SUPERKICK! Ambrose's head snaps backwards as he stumbles back into the ropes and falls through them... NO! He hangs on! He yanks himself back into the ring, charges back at an unsuspecting Owens, and knocks his head off with a Lariat!

The pair fall to the mat, but Ambrose is able to cover Owens...

1...

2... KICKOUT!

Tazz: A kickout at two!

Howell Saxon: Oh come on! Stay down!

Ambrose is first back to his feet, grabbing both of Owens' legs, and parting them as he cracks on the Prizefighter's stomach with stomp after stomp! With Owens clutching his stomach in pain, Ambrose gets onto the mat, and locks him up with an Inverted Figure Four Leglock! Owens roars in pain as he reaches towards the ropes, but Ambrose applies the pressure...

Owens crawls closer and closer to the ropes, as Ambrose tries to pull him back... but it's no use! Owens grabs the ropes, and Ambrose is forced to let go! Ambrose lets the referee count to 4 before he does so, garnering boos from the crowd.

J.R.: I suppose you find that to just be 'good tactics' then huh?

Howell Saxon: What? Of course I do! Why wouldn't I? He's just utilising the rules! You have 5 seconds to let go! And Ambrose is smart enough to play to that! You are bloody stupid at times!

Ambrose drags Owens back into the middle of the ring, and attempts to re-apply the hold, but Owens kicks him away! Ambrose bounds back and attempts to hit an elbow drop on Owens whilst he's still on the mat... but Owens moves out of the way, and Ambrose crashes to the mat! Kevin follows up by running off the ropes, and flattening Ambrose with a Senton!

Pin...

1...

2...Kickout!

Owens gets back to his feet, and charges again for another Senton! But Ambrose moves this time, causing Owens to crash down onto his back! Ambrose follows up with a successful Elbow Drop, right across the chest of Owens, before he yanks him to his feet! He hooks both of Owens' arms behind his back... getting ready for Dirty Deeds...

NO! Owens reverses it! Back Body Drop! Ambrose tries to get to his feet quickly, but Owens gets behind him, and tosses him into the corner with a German Suplex! Ambrose crashes his head nastily on the bottom turnbuckle, as Owens puts space between himself and Ambrose, and takes a massive run up...

CANNONBALL SENTON!

Tazz: Oh jeez! That looked painful! Ambrose squashed between Owens and the turnbuckle!

Ambrose groggily rolls into the middle of the mat, as Owens climbs the turnbuckle, and measures Ambrose...

DIVING MOONSAULT! IT HITS!

Owens hooks Ambrose's leg...

1...


2...



KICKOUT!

J.R.: And a kickout!

Howell Saxon: Oh thank God!

Owens is shocked at the nearfall, angrily getting to his feet and yanking Dean up with him, before throwing him into the ropes and preparing for him as the Lunatic bounces back... he lifts him...

POP-UP POWERBOMB!

NO! Ambrose reverses it into a hurricanrana! He hooks Owens leg...

1...


2...


KICKOUT!

J.R.: Ambrose nearly stole a win there!

Owens throws Ambrose off of him before jumping to his feet, and running at Ambrose with a clothesline... Ambrose ducks it, before hooking Owens' hands behind him... he lifts him! HOOK AND LADDER! Owens is planted on his face hard!

Howell Saxon: He's got him here! This is it!

Tazz: It could well be!

Ambrose rolls him over and covers him...

1...

2...



KICKOUT!

Howell Saxon: WHAT!?!

Dean looks furious as he looks down at the almost unconcious Owens. He grits his teeth, and pulls him back to his feet, hooking his arms behind his back again, and going for another Dirty Deeds...

But Owens pulls out of it, and smashes an elbow into Ambrose's mouth! Ambrose falls back into the ropes and bounds back...

Howell Saxon: NO! NO!

POP-UP POWERBOMB! THIS TIME IT HITS!

Ambrose crashes to the mat, and a weak Owens crashes on top of him for the pin...

1...



2...




STOMP! RIGHT TO THE REF'S HEAD! Owens looks up as Saxon stands tall over the ref, before smashing a kick right into Owen's face and knocking him off of Ambrose! Jericho leaps up onto the apron, but Saxon cracks him across the mouth with a Shin Kick, knocking him to the concrete below! Owens rolls across the mat, before Saxon stomps on top of him again and again, until Owens cannot move.

J.R.: NO! WHAT IS HE DOING!? This is just vile!

Tazz: The referee's down! Anything can go now J.R.!

The crowd boo as Saxon rolls out of the ring, and moves right over to the steel chair that Dean Ambrose set up at ringside. He rolls back into the ring, moves over to Owens, and grins as he lifts the chair high above his head...









J.R.: It's ANGLE! IT'S KURT ANGLE! YES!

Tazz: I think the Olympian might've seen enough!

Angle charges out of the curtain, wasting no time to show-boat, as he charges down the ramp and to the ring! He slides under the ropes, and ducks a chair shot from Saxon, before German Suplexing him through the air, the chair flying out of his hands! Saxon gets to his feet against the ropes, and Angle slams into him with a clothesline, knocking him straight over the ropes and out of the ring!

J.R.: And bye bye Saxon!

With Saxon gone, Angle turns ferociously to Ambrose, who still slowly gets to his feet following Owens' Pop-Up Powerbomb... Angle charges at him! But Ambrose moves last second! Angle collides face first with the turnbuckle! He turns around...

CHAIR SHOT FROM AMBROSE! RIGHT TO THE SKULL!

Tazz: Holy shit! You could hear that right up in the cheap seats!

Angle crashes to the mat before rolling out of the ring, a grin on Ambrose's face as he holds the chair in his hand! He turns to Owens to finish him off with it as well...

SUPERKICK!

Ambrose drops the chair and plummets to the mat, as Owens collapses back down, only just able to summon up enough energy to crack the Lunatic with that Superkick! The Prizefighter crawls slowly over to the turnbuckle, before gripping it and pulling himself to his feet. He turns to look at Ambrose, who still lays on the mat, before he starts to climb...

Tazz: Owens is going to the top! What's he gonna look for here?

Owens is on the top rope, and turns to look at Ambrose, measuring him... he gets ready to leap...

J.R.: Think he might be looking for that BULLFROG SPLASH!




But Saxon is back up on the apron! He grabs Owens' leg and holds him in place, before Owens smashes him across the jaw with a hook, knocking him off the apron and to the concrete! Owens turns back around to look at Ambrose...



BUT AMBROSE TOSSES THE STEEL CHAIR! IT CRACKS OWENS IN THE SKULL!

J.R.: Oh no!

Owens plummets off the top rope, crashing to the mat in front of Ambrose, but still fighting to try and get to his feet... Ambrose has none of it! As the referee starts to regain conciousness, Ambrose wrenches Owens's head under his shoulder, hooks both his arms...



DIRTY DEEDS! HE HITS IT!

J.R.: NO! IT CAN'T END LIKE THIS!

He rolls Owens onto his back and covers him...

1...


2...



...3!

Dean Ambrose defeats Kevin Owens in 20:12

J.R.: By God! I cannot believe it!

Tazz: And Dean Ambrose picks up the win!

J.R.: I think 'win' is a strong word Tazz!

A chorus of boos greet Ambrose to his feet, as he raises his arms high above his head to celebrate his victory, a cocky smirk glued to his face. His celebration doesn't last long, as Kurt Angle slides back into the ring, prompting Ambrose to bolt towards the ropes, and climb out of the ring as quickly as he can. Angle swipes at the ropes, but Ambrose is quick, and is already by the ramp, laughing at the Olympian who remains in the ring.

Howell Saxon moves around to Ambrose, a wide smile on his own face, as he pats the Lunatic on the back. Saxon grabs Ambrose's hand, and lifts his arm in the air victoriously, as the crowd boo the pair viciously. Owens is helped back to his feet by Jericho, and with a similar furious expression, joins Angle in watching the pair make up their way up the ramp. With one last lingering shot of the cocky, smiling faces of Saxon and Ambrose, the show fades out.

[END]