Cardboard Limbs

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Cardboard Limbs

Post by Thorn on Wed Mar 29, 2017 4:10 am

Kelly Kelly stands backstage at a food trolly, minding her own business as she pours herself juice from a jug. Down the hall, a door creaks open, and Thorn's head slowly peers out, eyeing an unaware Kelly Kelly.

Thorn
Psst!

Kelly looks around startled, before noticing Thorn stood by the door, an intense smile on his face. He nods his head in the direction of the room, gesturing that she should follow him, as an incredibly reluctant Kelly Kelly starts to peer around, hoping that someone nearby can help give her an excuse not to.

Thorn
I've got something to show you...

Kelly realises there's no saving her, and not wanting to be rude, gulps as she moves towards Thorn. He grins excitedly as he opens the door further to let her in.

Thorn
Look... look...

Kelly moves inside the room, and raises an eyebrow at what she sees. A series of cardboard cutouts, all of various celebrities and famous figures, except with the faces of Thorn's All Out Brawl opponents printed out and stuck over their heads. Kelly looks confused as she turns to Thorn, who only nods proudly at her.

Thorn
Impressive huh?

Kelly Kelly
What is it?

Thorn
It's my training area! For the Battle Royal! These are my opponents, look!

Thorn walks over to a cutout, clearly originally of Hilary Duff, except now with Brodus Clay's face over it. He grabs it's arm, and bites it off, before spitting it out in the direction of Kelly. She looks at Thorn speechlessly, clearly desiring to be elsewhere.

Kelly Kelly
I don't think you can bite people's arms off in the battle royal...

Thorn
Well it's not disqualification so who can say?

Kelly Kelly
Well, I think the law is still in effect...

Thorn
Silly trivial things like the law will not stop me from becoming RPW's first ever RPW Extreme Champion! And neither will my opponents! I will dispose of them as easily as I dispose of these cardboard men!

He twists around and punches a Marilyn Munroe Dean Ambrose through the head, knocking it flying off, before turning around for a spin kick. He trips over his own foot, sending him stumbling over, head first into a Barack Obama Jamie Noble, before he plummets with it on to the floor. Kelly looks away awkwardly, acting like she didn't notice, as Thorn quickly scurries to his feet.

Thorn
That was on purpose, it was a spear...

Kelly Kelly
Yep... Can I go now?

Thorn goes red in the face as he watches her try and avoid eye contact, knowing he has failed to impress her. He sighs inwardly.

Thorn
You may.

Kelly forces a smile onto her face before quickly moving out of the room. Thorn stands ashamed as he hears Kelly's footsteps patter hectically into the distance. He then starts to speak to himself.

Thorn
You may find yourself unimpressed now Kelly Kelly, but just you wait. Once I win the RPW Extreme Championship, then the impression will begin to be... it will start...-then you'll...you will be the impressed...-the impressiveness-you'll-impressed-...FUCK!

Thorn twists around violently and aggressively punches a Whoopi Goldberg Goldust across the room, before going on a rampage, tearing the cutouts limb from cardboard limb. The scene fades out.
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Thorn

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