Open Invitational I

We come back from commercial to find Kurt Angle wrapping up his entrance in the ring. Sporting ring gear, his gold medals, and the Extreme Championship alone. He gets a microphone from a ringside official while his theme song fades out.

Kurt Angle
I've decided to freshen things up.

The fans cheer because they're retarded and it's Kurt Angle.

Kurt Angle
Now I know a lot of you in the arena tonight may not have been watching wrestling programming consistently twelve or so odd years ago. But there used to be this feature called the Kurt Angle Open Invitational! The fans who understand what the Olympic Gold Medallist is referring to cheer. I've been itching to show off my technical prowess, lately, after teaching Dean Ambrose a lesson in real wrestling two weeks ago at Locked & Loaded, so I've decided to bring it back.

Angle gets right to business, he unstraps the belt from his waist and removes his medals, then puts them both on the mat, before turning to the stage and awaiting a challenger.

Kurt Angle
The product now comes with a choice! You can challenge for that medals or you can challenge for my RPW Extreme Championship. Either way, you'll be leaving the arena empty handed, because Kurt Angle does not let go of shiny things he likes. It's true. You gotta last three freakin' minutes in this ring with me to take home either of these two magnificent prizes.

Angle laughs.

Kurt Angle
But do give it a little thought before you step out from behind that curtain, because I can make three minutes in this ring feel like a freakin' eternity for you without breaking a single sweat. Oh, it's true.
IT'S DAMN TRUE.

Angle drops the mic and bends over, ready to get down and dirty. Very, very dirty